Is this is a serious discussion?
Truth be told some guys can pick up chicks without even thinking about it and others can try for a lifetime and still be unsuccessful.
No matter what anybody tells you there is no easy equation; it is what it is. And there are actually a LOT of factors that go in to it. The guy that can easily pick up women will tell you that it's not that hard and try and break down their own behavior as the success formula. Of course, this is completely logical from his point of view because it really is easy for him.
Then the guy that goes out every weekend, reads books on dating and tries every different approach under the sun and has no luck is more likely to tell you that women are looking for "bad boys" and are completely superficial in their choices and nice guys never get a break.
I have two friends who are polar opposites. One is honestly the nicest guy in the world and you would be unable to find a bad word to say about him. The other is a womanizing jerk with zero tact and infantile humor.
Exhibit A is totally useless with women and not through lack of trying. I have been his wingman on numerous occasions and he does come across as too nice. Girls like him a lot. As another girlfriend that is. They have no interest in him as a potential mate. And he's not bad looking either. Just TOO nice. He doesn't take command of his interactions with new people. Classic beta male. (not to say beta males cannot be successful because they can)
Exhibit B always has girls fawning over him and on the whole gets who he wants when he wants and then discards them when he is bored. I am friends with more than one of his conquests and they always tell me that they KNOW he is a jerk but they simply can't help themselves.
So to an extent the nice guy/jerk dichotomy does play a factor but it's not as clear cut as it seems.
Another of my friends is geeky, reasonably good looking, intelligent and interesting. Pretty similar to me. YES I SAID IT.
We are the most successful with girls by a long shot and today we're both the only ones in our friends circle who are in long term relationships.
Exhibit B may seem to be doing well but everyone knows he's a jerk and ultimately he is totally incapable of cultivating a happy relationship. Hardly a successful formula unless getting laid is all that matters with no emotional connection to anybody
I have numerous social anxiety issues and some downright odd mannerisms when it comes to dealing with other people. But I have been able to find my comfort zone and as a result I am completely confident in my ability to make people laugh at my jokes, listen to my views and like me for my eccentricities. I tend to literally freak out if I don't have the
chance to take a lead position in life. Meaning I can't stand even talking to the person at the checkout when I'm buying a carton of milk or ordering a takeaway on the phone. This is because I don't have the opportunity in these mundane every day interactions to lead. I'm not joking. Strange but true.
I love my girlfriend and I have been with her for well over a year now. She is beautiful and unique. She fits my personality well, which at times can be very difficult to deal with and she looks after me and organizes the parts of my life I'm either not interested in dealing with or just unable to deal with.
Of course I'm certain girls have a radar inbuilt that can detect guys who are in relationships because I have plenty of girls who are overtly and aggressively after me when I go out that I'm pretty sure would have taken a bit of effort before I was in a relationship... but that's beside the point.
Now when I go out and talk to even the most gorgeous girl in the world I am completely unfazed because I know I am completely confident in my ability to lead and be the dashing, fantastic interesting person I know I am and she would be insane not to like me. (I can be incredibly narcissisticly alpha at times)
But I also take pride in being a thoroughly good and caring person who has no interest in putting others down so there is absolutely no need to be a cocky jerk.
I think if there is one thing that girls do respond to is when a guy takes charge of his surroundings and makes decisions. Just like in dance, girls like a guy that takes the lead in conversation/decisions/actions.
Girls don't like to be given a dominant role in these areas at
first. Don't worry, that WILL wear off when they're with you... trust me
And that's not a sexist statement either. It's just true. Some guys take control by being a jerk and it is true that girls do inexplicably respond to it because he's taking the dominant position and that's what they're often looking for.
Women are just as stupid as men of course. But it's certainly not the only way to lead. And I don't like my use of "dominant" and "control" there either. I prefer my analogy to dance. It's just simply taking the lead. To do this of course you need confidence. Without confidence of your ability to lead, girls will be unresponsive and uninterested. But you can learn confidence. It's not something one is born with.
Of course this doesn't apply to ALL girls.
Wait...actually it does. No matter how much they try and refute it.