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how do people who never leave the house and can't communciate get girlfriends?
- Thread starter CaptainWacky
- Start date
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
I need to find a girl with an autistic obsession of rating girls based on their perceived attractiveness?
Eggs Mayonnaise
All In With The Nuts
She's out there. She may be a little emo, but she's out there.
Fuddlemiff
Is this real life?
Steal Conchaga's girl. You can undermine him by pointing out how normal and (relatively) sane he is.
Is this is a serious discussion?
Truth be told some guys can pick up chicks without even thinking about it and others can try for a lifetime and still be unsuccessful.
No matter what anybody tells you there is no easy equation; it is what it is. And there are actually a LOT of factors that go in to it. The guy that can easily pick up women will tell you that it's not that hard and try and break down their own behavior as the success formula. Of course, this is completely logical from his point of view because it really is easy for him.
Then the guy that goes out every weekend, reads books on dating and tries every different approach under the sun and has no luck is more likely to tell you that women are looking for "bad boys" and are completely superficial in their choices and nice guys never get a break.
I have two friends who are polar opposites. One is honestly the nicest guy in the world and you would be unable to find a bad word to say about him. The other is a womanizing jerk with zero tact and infantile humor.
Exhibit A is totally useless with women and not through lack of trying. I have been his wingman on numerous occasions and he does come across as too nice. Girls like him a lot. As another girlfriend that is. They have no interest in him as a potential mate. And he's not bad looking either. Just TOO nice. He doesn't take command of his interactions with new people. Classic beta male. (not to say beta males cannot be successful because they can)
Exhibit B always has girls fawning over him and on the whole gets who he wants when he wants and then discards them when he is bored. I am friends with more than one of his conquests and they always tell me that they KNOW he is a jerk but they simply can't help themselves.
So to an extent the nice guy/jerk dichotomy does play a factor but it's not as clear cut as it seems.
Another of my friends is geeky, reasonably good looking, intelligent and interesting. Pretty similar to me. YES I SAID IT.
We are the most successful with girls by a long shot and today we're both the only ones in our friends circle who are in long term relationships.
Exhibit B may seem to be doing well but everyone knows he's a jerk and ultimately he is totally incapable of cultivating a happy relationship. Hardly a successful formula unless getting laid is all that matters with no emotional connection to anybody
I have numerous social anxiety issues and some downright odd mannerisms when it comes to dealing with other people. But I have been able to find my comfort zone and as a result I am completely confident in my ability to make people laugh at my jokes, listen to my views and like me for my eccentricities. I tend to literally freak out if I don't have the chance to take a lead position in life. Meaning I can't stand even talking to the person at the checkout when I'm buying a carton of milk or ordering a takeaway on the phone. This is because I don't have the opportunity in these mundane every day interactions to lead. I'm not joking. Strange but true.
I love my girlfriend and I have been with her for well over a year now. She is beautiful and unique. She fits my personality well, which at times can be very difficult to deal with and she looks after me and organizes the parts of my life I'm either not interested in dealing with or just unable to deal with.
Of course I'm certain girls have a radar inbuilt that can detect guys who are in relationships because I have plenty of girls who are overtly and aggressively after me when I go out that I'm pretty sure would have taken a bit of effort before I was in a relationship... but that's beside the point.
Now when I go out and talk to even the most gorgeous girl in the world I am completely unfazed because I know I am completely confident in my ability to lead and be the dashing, fantastic interesting person I know I am and she would be insane not to like me. (I can be incredibly narcissisticly alpha at times)
But I also take pride in being a thoroughly good and caring person who has no interest in putting others down so there is absolutely no need to be a cocky jerk.
I think if there is one thing that girls do respond to is when a guy takes charge of his surroundings and makes decisions. Just like in dance, girls like a guy that takes the lead in conversation/decisions/actions.
Girls don't like to be given a dominant role in these areas at first. Don't worry, that WILL wear off when they're with you... trust me
And that's not a sexist statement either. It's just true. Some guys take control by being a jerk and it is true that girls do inexplicably respond to it because he's taking the dominant position and that's what they're often looking for. Women are just as stupid as men of course. But it's certainly not the only way to lead. And I don't like my use of "dominant" and "control" there either. I prefer my analogy to dance. It's just simply taking the lead. To do this of course you need confidence. Without confidence of your ability to lead, girls will be unresponsive and uninterested. But you can learn confidence. It's not something one is born with.
Of course this doesn't apply to ALL girls.
Wait...actually it does. No matter how much they try and refute it.
Truth be told some guys can pick up chicks without even thinking about it and others can try for a lifetime and still be unsuccessful.
No matter what anybody tells you there is no easy equation; it is what it is. And there are actually a LOT of factors that go in to it. The guy that can easily pick up women will tell you that it's not that hard and try and break down their own behavior as the success formula. Of course, this is completely logical from his point of view because it really is easy for him.
Then the guy that goes out every weekend, reads books on dating and tries every different approach under the sun and has no luck is more likely to tell you that women are looking for "bad boys" and are completely superficial in their choices and nice guys never get a break.
I have two friends who are polar opposites. One is honestly the nicest guy in the world and you would be unable to find a bad word to say about him. The other is a womanizing jerk with zero tact and infantile humor.
Exhibit A is totally useless with women and not through lack of trying. I have been his wingman on numerous occasions and he does come across as too nice. Girls like him a lot. As another girlfriend that is. They have no interest in him as a potential mate. And he's not bad looking either. Just TOO nice. He doesn't take command of his interactions with new people. Classic beta male. (not to say beta males cannot be successful because they can)
Exhibit B always has girls fawning over him and on the whole gets who he wants when he wants and then discards them when he is bored. I am friends with more than one of his conquests and they always tell me that they KNOW he is a jerk but they simply can't help themselves.
So to an extent the nice guy/jerk dichotomy does play a factor but it's not as clear cut as it seems.
Another of my friends is geeky, reasonably good looking, intelligent and interesting. Pretty similar to me. YES I SAID IT.
We are the most successful with girls by a long shot and today we're both the only ones in our friends circle who are in long term relationships.
Exhibit B may seem to be doing well but everyone knows he's a jerk and ultimately he is totally incapable of cultivating a happy relationship. Hardly a successful formula unless getting laid is all that matters with no emotional connection to anybody
I have numerous social anxiety issues and some downright odd mannerisms when it comes to dealing with other people. But I have been able to find my comfort zone and as a result I am completely confident in my ability to make people laugh at my jokes, listen to my views and like me for my eccentricities. I tend to literally freak out if I don't have the chance to take a lead position in life. Meaning I can't stand even talking to the person at the checkout when I'm buying a carton of milk or ordering a takeaway on the phone. This is because I don't have the opportunity in these mundane every day interactions to lead. I'm not joking. Strange but true.
I love my girlfriend and I have been with her for well over a year now. She is beautiful and unique. She fits my personality well, which at times can be very difficult to deal with and she looks after me and organizes the parts of my life I'm either not interested in dealing with or just unable to deal with.
Of course I'm certain girls have a radar inbuilt that can detect guys who are in relationships because I have plenty of girls who are overtly and aggressively after me when I go out that I'm pretty sure would have taken a bit of effort before I was in a relationship... but that's beside the point.
Now when I go out and talk to even the most gorgeous girl in the world I am completely unfazed because I know I am completely confident in my ability to lead and be the dashing, fantastic interesting person I know I am and she would be insane not to like me. (I can be incredibly narcissisticly alpha at times)
But I also take pride in being a thoroughly good and caring person who has no interest in putting others down so there is absolutely no need to be a cocky jerk.
I think if there is one thing that girls do respond to is when a guy takes charge of his surroundings and makes decisions. Just like in dance, girls like a guy that takes the lead in conversation/decisions/actions.
Girls don't like to be given a dominant role in these areas at first. Don't worry, that WILL wear off when they're with you... trust me
And that's not a sexist statement either. It's just true. Some guys take control by being a jerk and it is true that girls do inexplicably respond to it because he's taking the dominant position and that's what they're often looking for. Women are just as stupid as men of course. But it's certainly not the only way to lead. And I don't like my use of "dominant" and "control" there either. I prefer my analogy to dance. It's just simply taking the lead. To do this of course you need confidence. Without confidence of your ability to lead, girls will be unresponsive and uninterested. But you can learn confidence. It's not something one is born with.
Of course this doesn't apply to ALL girls.
Wait...actually it does. No matter how much they try and refute it.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Great post! It makes sense. Of course, everyone has their own skillset. Some advice just won't work on some people because they're just so completely alien in the way they see and interact with the universe (me!) So they can't even get to the point where they have the chance to take charge or dazzle girls with their brilliant sense of humour ("hey, did you know I write Star Trek parodies on the internet?") But I'm slowly trying to improve my human interactions. And I do mean slowly, so slowly that'll be dead by the time I've made a significant change.
I need a girl who's obsessed with death and her own mortality who will think "fine, may as well have sex with him and watch Smile Time in bed, I'm just going to die soon anyway."
I need a girl who's obsessed with death and her own mortality who will think "fine, may as well have sex with him and watch Smile Time in bed, I'm just going to die soon anyway."
Tisiphone
Elitist Redheaded Trollop
You know, the same can be said for girls. I'm a natural flirt, but that doesn't mean I hook up all the time. I've been told I'm too much of myself around guys, and I don't understand that. Should I downplay my personality just so I won't be alone? And if I do, and get the guy, then he'll wonder if he ever really knew me because I'll be acting in a way he's never seen before.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
You need to start dating robots instead of men.
FBI parte due
Folces Weard
But I think Dr Dave already has a girlfriend.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
OH.
Gagh
Χριστόφορος
I love it when you insult people right out of the blue. It makes me think "You bitch!" in a really queer voice, and then want to hug you in a bear-like fashion.
If you were a bear, of course, I could never be the cub, as I'm a bear myself. Now I'm typing without thinking and dragging this post on far longer than it should have gone on but then I'm in that sort of mood. We were supposed to be on strike today, then the Union called it off at midday on Friday, so everyone booked leave instead. I was going to go out but it's raining so fucking hard outside the roads are flooding and I can't be bothered so I'm here typing off-topic shit like this that means nothing in context to the original post, or the promising start that it had to it. What does it mean? Must it mean anything? Whay must I be doing this? Do I miss typing at work so much that I feel the only answer is to sit here and type instead? Can we charge people to type each word? If not, why not? For years I've been searching for the answers to life, and though it's a journey of the unknown, the answers never seem to come. Perhaps living each day as a separate entity disembodied from the last is the only way we can truly experience the meaning of existence. Experiences and expectations serve nothing other than making the wonder of the world become mundane drudgery. I'm sure this could be vanquished with several wheelbarrows full of cash, because deny it as much as you can, society is materialistic and having been raised in a Western world of materialistic meaning, such frivelous spending may well only be the true way to experience ultimate joy. Or maybe fatsex with fatHitler can do the same? One thing is for certain, now Michael Crichton is dead, we'll never see the cloned Fat Hitler story written, and Batman will no longer dance at The Hulk's Bar Mitvah upon hearing that the Jade Giant has taken up Judiasm. We can only but hope that Superman doesn't convert to extreme Islamic views, and attempt repeated suicide bombings only to find it can never happen, to the cost of millions of innocent lives. And why must Kelly Brook be so damned good looking? Surely must know I exist. She'll come round to her sense, ditch that Rugby boy 8 years younger than here, and come and seek the company of a man with er....Star Wars Lego. Do you think Dog the Bounty Hunter ever had Lego as a kid? A psychologist could have had a field day with the things he built. Is this taking randome thinking too far? Perhaps a psychologist could have a field day with this slab of text. One thing is for sure - no psychologist is ever going to read it, and that's the bottom line because Stone Cold Sid James Said So *Nyuk Nyuk*
Eggs Mayonnaise
All In With The Nuts
asklff
Actually it was a good-natured rib because he has Cait, but then I didn't remember if they met online or if they were already together before everybody met so it may have been an unsuccessful good-natured rib. A short rib, if you will.
My eyes hurt because I am way overdue to visit the eye doctor and I'm out of contact lenses and my last pair of glasses are being held together with thread and a prayer. Also because I stare at computer screens and TV screens 16 hours a day.
Relationships? I'm lucky to have clean clothes to wear to work tomorrow (oh wait I don't LOL)
Actually it was a good-natured rib because he has Cait, but then I didn't remember if they met online or if they were already together before everybody met so it may have been an unsuccessful good-natured rib. A short rib, if you will.
My eyes hurt because I am way overdue to visit the eye doctor and I'm out of contact lenses and my last pair of glasses are being held together with thread and a prayer. Also because I stare at computer screens and TV screens 16 hours a day.
Relationships? I'm lucky to have clean clothes to wear to work tomorrow (oh wait I don't LOL)
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
All I saw was "cloned fat Hitler".