Your Probes Have Touched Me, Mister Spock

[Gagh]

Sargon was a filthy bitch, wasn't he?

 

[Gagh]

"As you now leave your own seed on distant planets..."

DIRTY BASTARD

 

[Gagh]

OMG HE'S TAKEN KIRK'S BODY, NOW HE CAN TOUCH DIANA MULDAUR'S SEXY 20-SOMETHING OLD BOOBEHS & LEGS, AND SPREAD HIS SEED ON DISTANT PLANETS!

 

[Gagh]

Shatner's doing his "possessed with the gift of flesh" bit and is touching himself up. This will only end in tears.

 

[Gagh]

They're talking about 'planting seed' again. Hardly surprising, since Henoch is in this episode!

Sargon now says "his mind touched your vessel" - this is a fucking porno.

 

[Gagh]

Shatner is body popping again - Sargon is back in the flashing ball. Filthy fucker.

 

[Gagh]

Kirk now says he was "at one" with Sargon. Bones doesn't appear to be that much of a fan of the love-in.

 

[Gagh]

Scotty is also upset at the mind-takeover. He's just upset he wasn't selected to house a mind - no room for cripples, Mister Scott, and that missing figer is doing you no favours, son.

 

[Gagh]

Diana Muldaur is willing to host. I'll bet she is, filthy slut. She's the only chick allowed a line, so it's inevitable she is going to have to take all the mind0fuckery.

Minds the sizes of planets, and all they want to do is screw. Genius-level Hillbillies right there.

 

[Gagh]

Shatner....IS....making....A CLASSIC.....speech....with many OVERBEARING CONSEQUENCES for......all of.......MANKIND!

 

[Gagh]

Now Kirk says '"that's why we're aboard her" - one track fucking minds, the mega-aliens and these damned command-types.

 

[Gagh]

Nurse Chapel is here in her terrible blonde wig, and gets a cursory line. I guess the future Dr Pulaski was paid more to do the overracting as the SUPER-MINDS take over her body.

 

[Gagh]

SPOCK-HENOCH just checked out Nurse Chapel's rack and immediately started talking about women. JUST SCREW ALREADY.

Now Pulaski-in-a-mini-skirt is giving Kirk-Sargon the eye. It's going to be a filthy fuck-fest. You can tell, Spock-Henoch's eyebrow is twitching.

 

[Gagh]

So, they stand there in sick-bay touching each other up whilst Chapel, McCoy & Spock-Henoch all just stand there gawping. Fuck me, they'll have the camera-phones out in a minute.

 

[Gagh]

Spock-Henoch has taken Chapel off into another room, presumably for some drug-injecting, Hawkwind, Captain Beefheart, and some deep screwing.

 

[Gagh]

Yep, here come the drugs....

Go on Henoch, she looks like she's up for a quick grope. See if you can knock the wig off. Bah! He's pulled the Jedi Mind trick on Chapel. Where's the fun in that when you can make her take her kit off and show the Holy Rings of Betazed to us all.

 

[Gagh]

Ann Mullhall-Pulaski-Muldaur is defo up for some Shatna loving. They're supposed to be building hot robot bodies to fuck in, but Henoch wants none of it. The fact that they all speak as if their heads are inside dustbins doesn't seem to be putting them off either.

 

[Gagh]

Chapel is all confuzzled that she's been mond-raped, instead of the usual manner of being drugged and gang-raped in the back of a van by a group of red-shirt extras whilst Roddenberry films it.

 

[Gagh]

So Muldaur has let her hair down, but doesn't seem to feel the need to start felling her tits, or touching Scotty up. Here's me thinking this is the USS Free Love.

Henoch is defo not a fan of Robo-Body. He's too busy thinking of all the alien-minge he can get with a Vulcan's todger.

Needless to say, after touching Chapel up, he's gone in for the kill on the only other chick who gets a line.

Empowerment of women? Hah!

 

[Gagh]

Shatna has the panting hots. The naughty formula Henoch had Chapel make with his evil mind-rape is kicking in. Within minutes he'll be wearing a wig & corset. Oh, hang on.....