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Where is the Random Thread of Randomness stuff that doesn't belong in other threads thread?

File this under u can’t make this shit up (Rachael being my daughter who’s graduating in the fall summa cum laude):


Rachael: my tire pressure sensor in my car isn’t working. Do my tires look ok?


Me: (looking around), yeah they do but u could always check them with a gauge.

Rach: I don’t know how to do that.

Me: Well when your sensor is working and it tells u that a tire needs air, what do you do?

Rach: I put some air in and drive around and wait for the sensor to tell me it’s okay.

DA FUCK? She learned how to check her tire pressure with a gauge today.
 
It's like kids who don't know how to tell time on an analog clock.

Evil Dead Horror GIF by filmeditor
 
Actually, I realized I'd forgotten how to count change: "$2.50. Out of $10... $3 (hands back 2 quarters), 4, 5 (hands back 2 dollars), and $5 is $10." (hands back a $5). The last time I did that to someone they were like "what the hell was that?"
 
I don't know if I've said this before, but Life is so much like Sid Meier's Civ II: You go through your turn, setting everything up to where you can cruise along to an easy victory. Then you click the end of turn button (or however it worked) and the game proceeds to fuck up everything you just did.
 
Volpone said:
Deciding you're breaking up with a girl but keeping quiet about it so you can get as much of your stuff out of her apartment before she realizes is such an important skill that is applicable in so many other ways.
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Same as quitting a job -- especially if they had you sign a tight NDA or non-compete clause.
 
Volpone said:
I can count change, write in cursive, and drive a manual transmission. I'm practically Gandalf.
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Oh yeah. The baffled look people working cash register operators get when the system is down and they have to actually do the math.
We have a freeway that runs largely north/south in our county. In one small city, there are malls on both sides of that freeway. Years ago I called a Pottery Barn and asked the clerk if the store was on the east or west side of the freeway. Her response was, “it depends on which direction you’re going on the freeway”.
face/palm.
I feel like Gandalf. My dad made me learn to drive in a manual transmission car (and later I bought one). My kids would be flummoxed. I don’t mind them but hard to drive and sip coffee.
 
Yup -- I haven't driven in 25 years, but when I did, most of my cars were stick. I liked how it forced you to pay attention to DRIVING itself -- that's what you were in the car to do, DRIVE. Not make videos or playlists, not talk on the phone BUT TO GET TO A DESTINATION ALIVE lol.

All the screens and gadgets and widgets in current cars runs complately counter to that thinking.
 
Eggs Mayonnaise said:
Yup -- I haven't driven in 25 years, but when I did, most of my cars were stick. I liked how it forced you to pay attention to DRIVING itself -- that's what you were in the car to do, DRIVE. Not make videos or playlists, not talk on the phone BUT TO GET TO A DESTINATION ALIVE lol.

All the screens and gadgets and widgets in current cars runs complately counter to that thinking.
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I've probably said this before, but the '09 Mustang got into a fairly minor fender-bender a few years back. My insurance company used to be the best in the business but now they're shit and the car is old enough that it was about a 2 month battle to keep them from totaling it. And I mention this because at the start they set me up with a rental car--infotainment screen, backup camera, collision alerts, (and of course automatic transmission) and after driving it for a few days I was like "fuck this, I can never let the Mustang die because these new cars are terrible." The screen is actually up onto the windshield area, and demands that you look at it at random times. There are no buttons or knobs to control anything, you've got to use the touch screen and navigate menus. With the backup camera I couldn't remember how to back up. Do I look at the screen? Do I look at the mirror? Do I look over my shoulder? All the things that are instinctive at this point now force you to consciously think to do them.
 
I woke up to the sound of a squirrel dropping green pine cones on a metal roof. It was quite violent sounding. I went outside to see if I could get a good video of it.
 
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