The Austin Powers movie are good for only one thing

[Yub]

And that's Dr Evil rapping. Bond did all the sexual jokes first and better. In fact, the later Bond films need to not take themselves are seriously and hark back to Connery's Bond.

 

[whisky]

James Bond: I think he got the point. (After shooting a bad guy with a spear gun in Thunderball)


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James Bond: Shocking! Positively shocking! (After knocking a lamp into a bathtub to electrocute a goon)


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Dr. No: That's a Dom Perignon '55, it would be a pity to break it.
James Bond: I prefer the '53 myself. (When Bond brandishes a bottle of champagne in self-defense in Dr.No)


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Dr. Holly Goodhead: Hang on!
James Bond: The thought had occurred to me. (as they dangle from a cable car a thousand feet above earth.)


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James Bond: Play it again Sam & play it again Sam. (after he throws Chaa out of a stained glass window and into a piano in Moonraker)


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James Bond: Oh the things I do for England. (About to make love to the evil Helga Brandt in You Only Live Twice)


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James Bond: Miss Anders... I didn't recognize you with your clothes on. (from Moonraker)


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Magda: He suggests a trade. The egg for your life.
James Bond: Well, I heard the price of eggs was up, but isn't that a little high?(from Octopussy)


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(Gesturing to a crushed car)_
Goldfinger: If you'll excuse me, Mr. Bond, I have to tend to separating my gold from the late Mr. Solo.
James Bond: As you said, a pressing engagement. (from Goldfinger)


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Helga Brandt: I've got you now.
James Bond: Well enjoy yourself. (You Only Live Twice)


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Tiffany Case: I'll finish dressing.
James Bond as Peter Franks: Oh please don't, not on my account. (after Tiffany Case opens the door almost nude in Diamonds are forever.)


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James Bond: Well, I won't need these. (Bond shoves his oyster dinner aside after Kissy Suzuki says she will be sleeping elsewhere, from You Only Live Twice)


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Honey Ryder: Are you looking for shells too?
James Bond: No, I'm just looking. (After Bond sees Ryder come out of the sea in a stunning bikini in Dr.No)


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James Bond: Do you mind if my friend sits this one out? She's just dead. (Placing Fiona Volpe's body in a chair after she is shot on the dance floor in Thunderball)


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James Bond: I trust you can handle this contraption, Q?
Q: It goes by hot air.
James Bond: Oh, then you can.(Bond and Q are floating in a hot air balloon in Octopussy)


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Hugo Drax: Why did you break up the encounter with my pet python?
James Bond: I discovered it had a crush on me. (from Moonraker)


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Woman on Tour Boat: Are you with our group?
James Bond: No, ma'am, I'm with the economy tour! (After Bond is dragged from a river onto a tour boat in Octopussy)


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James Bond: That's a nice little nothing you're almost wearing. (in Diamonds Are Forever)


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M: Remember, 007, you're on your own.
James Bond: Well, thank you, sir. That's a great comfort. (in Octopussy)


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Updated quotes: 21 Nov. 2002.

Q: Good to see you Mr. Bond. Things have been awfully dull around here. I hope we're going to see some gratuitous sex and violence.
James Bond: I certainly hope so too. (in Never Say Never Again)


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You Only Live Twice

[Being bathed by Tanaka's women.]
Tiger Tanaka: You know what it is about you that fascinates them, don't you? It's the hair on your chest. All Japanese men have beautiful bare skin.
James Bond: Ancient Japanese proverb, "Bird never build nest in bare tree."

Tiger Tanaka: Rule number two: in Japan, men come first, women come second.
James Bond: I just might retire here.


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Dr. Holly Goodhead: Oh, come on now Mr. Bond, a 70-year old can take 3 G's.
James Bond: Well, the trouble is there's never a 70-year old around when you need one. (in Moonraker)


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Diamonds Are Forever
[To Tiffany as he is about to get into bed with her]
James Bond: Presumably I'm the condemned man and obviously you're the hearty breakfast.

Felix Leiter: I give up. I know the diamonds are in the body, but where?
James Bond: Alimentary, my dear Leiter...

Goon : The stiff, um, the deceased back there... Your brother, Mr. Franks?
James Bond (as Peter Franks) : Yes, it was.
Goon : I got a brother.
James Bond as Peter Franks: Small world.

Plenty O'Toole: Hi, I'm Plenty.
James Bond: But of course you are.
Plenty O'Toole: Plenty O'Toole.
James Bond: Named after your father perhaps?

 

[CaptainWacky]

I liked the "henchman's family getting the news of their death" jokes.

 

[Yub]

I liked the "henchman's family getting the news of their death" jokes.

They were an SNL skit at best. IMO, they disrupted the flow of the film and were only throw in because they were jokes "too good to waste". Plus dragging the joke out a second time in the same film WTF.

 

[CaptainWacky]

And Scott Evil was quite funny in the first movie at least.

 

[aeommai]

the ones from you only live twice were fantastic.

also at the original post:

fook mi and fook yu

 

[Cassie]

FAT BASTARD! His "I've got a turtle head poking out" is a classic.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Eurgh.

 

[Cassie]

My nephew went around saying it for at least a year. Plus "get in mah bellah" was pretty funny too.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31vB3trWWGE

 

[The Tomtrek]

Heather Graham.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Meh.