starguard
Unluckiest Charm in the Box
Look at the message someone over there posing as a southern law enforcement officer posted about him

Listen up Son,
Everyone here knows I don't cotton to no faggots. Let alone any God Damn Canadian faggots.
Why are you cruising American internet space boy?
While you are here, I want you to get your ass down to Maracopa County and get checked into my beautiful Maracopa County Jail ASAP!
I've got a pair brand new pair of my patented pink boxer shorts with your name on em.
Hell, I'll even let you share a cell with Bubba. He's the biggest, blackest, ass fuckinest ###### you ever seen!
Now hurry up and get your punk ass down to Maracopa County and get checked into my Jail.
I don't like to be kept waiting and neither does Bubba.
