The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
Wife: “Come to bed, I’m ovulating!”
Husband: “Fuck that noise! You made me gay!”
Wife: “Did not!”
Husband: “Did too!”
(This goes on for at least 30 seconds)
Wife: “How did I make you gay?”
Husband: “You cheated on me so many times with my friends and relatives, I’m not even sure how many of our 19 children are actually mine!”
Wife: “Most of them are your brothers or your dad’s.”
Husband: “HARLOT! You admit it!?!”
Wife: “I have needs. Needs that can only be filled by having sex with your most trusted loved ones and sometimes strangers in groups of 2-5 at a time!”
Husband: “You have completely destroyed my faith in women and marriage!”
Wife: “Would this be a bad time to tell you I gave you AIDS and herpes?”
(Husband screams incoherently, throws his wedding ring out the window, and burns their wedding pictures.)
Wife: “LOL! PWNED!”
Husband: “I should kill you! Or leave you!”
Wife: “But you won’t.”
Husband: “Why won’t I?”
Wife: “I just got off the phone with a major TV network, and they want to give us our own reality show!”
(They start kissing and fondling each other)
Husband: “I love you.”
Wife: “NOW can we fuck?”
Husband: “Will you use the strap-on first?”
Wife: “Only if you wear one of those dresses we picked out!”
Husband: “Fuck that noise! You made me gay!”
Wife: “Did not!”
Husband: “Did too!”
(This goes on for at least 30 seconds)
Wife: “How did I make you gay?”
Husband: “You cheated on me so many times with my friends and relatives, I’m not even sure how many of our 19 children are actually mine!”
Wife: “Most of them are your brothers or your dad’s.”
Husband: “HARLOT! You admit it!?!”
Wife: “I have needs. Needs that can only be filled by having sex with your most trusted loved ones and sometimes strangers in groups of 2-5 at a time!”
Husband: “You have completely destroyed my faith in women and marriage!”
Wife: “Would this be a bad time to tell you I gave you AIDS and herpes?”
(Husband screams incoherently, throws his wedding ring out the window, and burns their wedding pictures.)
Wife: “LOL! PWNED!”
Husband: “I should kill you! Or leave you!”
Wife: “But you won’t.”
Husband: “Why won’t I?”
Wife: “I just got off the phone with a major TV network, and they want to give us our own reality show!”
(They start kissing and fondling each other)
Husband: “I love you.”
Wife: “NOW can we fuck?”
Husband: “Will you use the strap-on first?”
Wife: “Only if you wear one of those dresses we picked out!”
