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REVOLUTION CHARACTER GUIDE

Google-guy is cute in that pudgy, Pillsbury Doughboy kind of way. I happen to like all kinds of body types in men. But the writers of the show have relapsed into the tried and untrue characature of pudgy people as clumsy and weak.
 
They shouldn't have killed off Maggie. She was really the only believable character on the whole show.
 
Rachel Matheson

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I thought you said this was a Secret commercial!!!

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I'M SO SORRY I HAVE TO ABANDON ALL OF YOU AND WILLINGLY TURN MYSELF IN TO MONROE WHERE HE CAN TORTURE ME WITH HIS MENACING FACE FOR 10YRS

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Did I leave the oven on?

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Wait, wait... there's no electricity, of course I didn't leave the oven on.

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Then how.....

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DID I BURN THESE MUFFINS?

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Monroe, seriously... I told you I'm not into it.

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DON'T EVER TRY TO GET ME FIRED!

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Das right... I'm a bad bitch with a screwdriver.

Rachel is Charlie and Danny's mom. She left them with their father one day like, I don't know, 10yrs ago? The reason she turned herself over to the militia was never explained, but Miles knows about it, and he hasn't told Charlie that her mom is alive. She's a scientist, and part of the team that created the magic amulets. They somehow created these amulets instead of what they were working on, which was renewable energy. Don't even bother trying to make sense of it! She's been living it up at Monroe's mansion all these years, now and then he pays her a visit and asks her ever so nicely to tell him why the power went out. She refused until one day OMG TWINKNISS, YOU CAPTURED MY TWINKNISS, then she totally spilled all the beans.
 
She has low impulse control. Makes her just do stuff without thinking things through. Odd behavior for a scientist. But, writers aren't scientists and have low impulse control. Makes writers do stuff without thinking things through. The story line is replete with evidence of their low impulse control and painting themselves into plot corners. But, that's why writers came up with deus ex machina. Writers' get out of plot corner excape card.
 
Sebastian Monroe

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I STARTED A CHARACTER GUIDE, NOW I HAVE TO FINISH.

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Deep thoughts...

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I only really have this one expression.

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YES THIS IS THE FACE OF EVIL ON REVOLUTION, ISN'T HE SCARY?

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WHO ATE MY PRUNES?

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I can't believe Miles punched me in the face!

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Tumblr has already shipped Miles and Monroe. Miloe. I'm serious.

This is Sebastian Monroe, the leader of the Monroe Militia, aka 'Bas or Bass I DON'T KNOW. He grew up with Miles Matheson, they were best bros all their life, until Monroe WENT TOO FAR, and Miles broke up with him. There's not a whole lot to say about him, his scenes really just consist of him looking constipated so far. All I know is that he wants to rule all of North America.
 
Major Tom Neville (he got a promotion)

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COME AT ME BRO!

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I WEAR MY SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT AND IN THE DAY AND ANYTIME I NEED PEOPLE TO FEAR ME!!!! I found them at an abandoned Walmart!

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Fucking tumblr, WE MAKE ANIMATED GIFS OF NOTHING IN PARTICULAR!

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Let me tell you how you can save 15% on your car insurance.

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BOOM! I'M A BAD MAMMA JAMMA!

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LOOK AT THESE BOOTS, THEY ARE FAB!

Major Tom Neville, aka Major Evil. He was a mild mannered insurance agent before the power went out, then one day his punk ass neighbor stole his silverware and KABLAMMO! Major Evil was born. NOBODY STEALS MY SILVERWARE! Now he's somewhere in the upper ranks of the Monroe Militia, valued for his ruthlessness, his evil grin, and his impeccable sense of fashion. (a complete waste of Giancarlo Esposito's talent, imo)
 
So Miles and Monroe were buds growing up? But Miles looks a lot older than Monroe. And if Monroe WENT TOO FAR! I wonder what that was. . .hmmm, did he make a pass at Miles? That would be what the shippers are going for.

Major Evil's boots are similar to what the Canadian Mounties wore way back when they actually rode out on horses to police the great Canadian wilderness. Hot uniforms. No, really, they were wool.
 
I was gonna rant because I was thinking Major Evil was gay, but it's actually the character Giancarlo played in Breaking Bad that was gay, so oh well lol.
 
p.s. the minions were watching this tonight and I just want to blow EVERYONE up now....I'm starting to hate this show and all in it. :rwmad:
 
You have to let the hate pass over you and through you, turn your inner eye to see its path, AND YOU WILL FIND LOTS OF SHIT TO LAUGH ABOUT.
 
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