Rejected Chuck Norris facts list

[CaptainWacky]

List of Chuck Norris facts rejected from the Chuck Norris facts list for being "too gay".

1) Chuck Norris can open crisp packets really fast.
2) Chuck Norris smells nice.

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[Cassie]

3) Chuck Norris wears fabulous clothes

 

[whisky]

4) You are permitted to comb your hair because Chuck Norris hasn't put hair gel on you yet.

 

[headvoid]

5) Chuck Norris practices his palm off karate move by whispering "talk to the hand, cos the face ain't listening"

 

[Cassie]

5) Chuck Norris can kill you with all ten of his hot pink toenails.

 

[whisky]

6) Chuck Norris from the train was never in line to be the sequel to throw momma from the train.

 

[headvoid]

7) He is gay

 

[CaptainWacky]

8) Chuck Norris was the only one to vote for Brian to win Big Brother, but his vote counted a million times.

 

[whisky]

9) Chuck norris is responsible for Wacky constantly getting hit by the smiley when he tries 8 )

 

[Yub]

10) Chuck Norris invented the donkey punch.

 

[Cassie]

11) Chuck Norris is on his 11th goodbye tour.

 

[CaptainWacky]

12) Chuck Norris was asked to star as Batman in every Batman movie since 1989, but time someone on the production said "wait, Chuck Norris would make a terrible Batman!" and the offer was withdrawn.

 

[Yub]

13) To Chuck Norris, roundhouse kicks to the head are like hugs.

 

[Yub]

14) Chuck Norris once was the construction worker for the Village People, but was fired for looking far hotter and manly than every one else, plus all the roundhouse kicks.

 

[CaptainWacky]

15) Chuck Norris one wrote his own list of Chuck Norris facts, but it was so hot that the paper caught fire.

 

[Cassie]

16) Chuck Norris' thighs are so strong he broke his thigh-master.

 

[CaptainWacky]

17) Chuck Norris can juggle.

 

[The Dork Lord]

18 ) Chuck Norris created god so he'd have someone to beat up on.

 

[whisky]

19 ) Chuck Norris was the original voice for Twikki in buck rogers.

 

[The Dork Lord]

20) Chuck Norris started the rumor that pop rocks and cola will kill you, in order to boost Mountain Dew sales.