FURTHER EVIDENCE OF BROKEN BRITAIN: SWANS DIVORCE

Fuddlemiff

Is this real life?
Experts have told of their surprise after witnessing a rare "divorce" between a pair of swans at a Gloucestershire wildfowl sanctuary.

The Bewick's swans have returned to winter at the Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust centre at Slimbridge - but both have brought new partners.

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Swans. Gordon Brown probably hates them. He's a bastard isn't he?

It is only the second time in more than 40 years that a "separation" has been recorded at the centre.

Staff have described the new couplings as "bizarre".

It is not unheard of for the birds, which usually mate for life, to find a new mate but it tends to be because one of the pair has died, they said.

During the past four decades 4,000 pairs of Bewick's swans have been studied at Slimbridge, with only one previous couple moving on to find new partners.

Gordon_Brown.jpg

Unrelated photo of Gordon Brown planning to feed your children to paedophiles.

Sources close to Gordon Brown claim he "really appreciates [swans]", but they would say that, wouldn't they? Fucking cretins. Meanwhile, rosy cheeked Conservative leader Dave Cameron has pledged to do something about this "crisis which is sweeping Britain".
 

Eggs Mayonnaise

All In With The Nuts
THIS IS WORSE THAN THE BRANGELINA BREAKUP. :shock:
 

Gagh

Χριστόφορος
Even worse are the two young swans beating up the other two young swans. Bottler Brown has Broken Britain again!
 

Fuddlemiff

Is this real life?
Scientists divided: are unusually large cygnets succumbing to Britain's childhood obesity epidemic, or succumbing to Britain's childhood pregnancy epidemic?

Find out what our readers think in today's poll:

Obesity:
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Pregnancy:
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Immigrants did it:
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Cassie

Touching the monolith
Staff member
Swans are outer space aliens come to destroy the very fabric of our society.
 

SAUSAGEMAN

Registered User
I haven't been keeping track - has Brown eviscerated any more troops with his bare hands since that other time?
 

SAUSAGEMAN

Registered User
(Hee! I just checked the SomethingAwful UK politics thread, and someone there posted a link to the same story with the comment "BROKEN BRITAIN!")
 

Fuddlemiff

Is this real life?
I'M SOMEONE AWFUL!!


(no, I'm not that one, though)
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Why did he think a huge polished forehead would appeal to voters?
 

Cassie

Touching the monolith
Staff member
IT WORKS FOR OLIVIA WILDE!
 

Fuddlemiff

Is this real life?
"Homer, have you been using the buffer?"
"No."
"Okay then, carry on."

*checks hair*
 

Fuddlemiff

Is this real life?
The geese are still breeding unabated. The concept of divorce hasn't even crept into their group psyche yet. Already they out number us 3 to 1.

Soon... there will only be geese.
 
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