Donkey Kong: A character study

[CaptainWacky]

To be completed later.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Study THIS, Peach!

 

[Yub]

THE MIGHTY FIST OF DONKEY KONG, THE PERVERT!

 

[CaptainWacky]

I was going to point out how he started off as a King Kong wannabe who kidnapped and possibly raped Mario's girlfriend, before somehow becoming a hero who wore a tie and had a comedy family. BUT then I remembered the Donkey Kong in the Rare gamaes is actually supposed to be Donkey Kong Junior, whereas Cranky Kong is the original Donkey Kong (funny how Donkey Kong ages but not Mario, ISN'T IT!?) So why did he drop the Junior? Why did he start wearing a tie? And just WHO is Diddy Kong? Son? Younger brother? TWINK LOVER? It's impossible to conduct a proper character study of Donkey Kong when there's so many mysteries about his existence.

 

[jack]

I loved Donkey Kong.

 

[jack]

The timing on the last to top step is the key to the game, you have to weight for DK to beat his chest

 

[CaptainWacky]

^Have you seen The King Of Kong? It's a documentary about two gamers competeting for the Donkey Kong high score. It's really good.

 

[jack]

No, is it on YouTube?

 

[CaptainWacky]

Don't think so, I downloaded a torrent. It's a proper movie length docu...might be in a CINEMA NEAR YOU.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

I still play classic Donkey Kong in the Arcade.

And Wacky, let's not forget the year he toured with the USO as Cheech & Kong. That's a chapter he'd rather forget BUT WE WON'T.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I hated the way Donkey Kong wasn't even in the second and third Donkey Kong country games.

 

[jack]

Nintendo does not remember Chakotay.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

4 people playing Wario's Battle Canyon in the first Mario Party for 64 = HEAVEN.

It was never as good as that since.

 

[jack]

Mario Party 64 was teh cool. I still have all of them

 

[CaptainWacky]

I need to urinate (I need a Wii.)

 

[Yub]

I was going to point out how he started off as a King Kong wannabe who kidnapped and possibly raped Mario's girlfriend, before somehow becoming a hero who wore a tie and had a comedy family. BUT then I remembered the Donkey Kong in the Rare gamaes is actually supposed to be Donkey Kong Junior, whereas Cranky Kong is the original Donkey Kong (funny how Donkey Kong ages but not Mario, ISN'T IT!?) So why did he drop the Junior? Why did he start wearing a tie? And just WHO is Diddy Kong? Son? Younger brother? TWINK LOVER? It's impossible to conduct a proper character study of Donkey Kong when there's so many mysteries about his existence.

He's secretly Keyser Söze.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

 

[CaptainWacky]

NINTENDO SIXTY FOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUR!

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

He looks like a very young JUSTIN BERFIELD if he were not famous and less cute.

 

[Dershocka]

I rubbed a small circle of skin off my palm the first week I had Mario Party.

NOT EVEN MASTERBATING COULD DO THAT!