Where is the Random Thread of Randomness stuff that doesn't belong in other threads thread?

[whisky]

It's not rained in two months my grass looks yellow and dead.

 

[Colonel Kira's Left Tit]

I watched about 5 minutes of a mowing video on youtube and shamed myself into going out and getting the yard mowed. IT IS DONE.

That's fantastic. Now come do mine.

 

[Volpone]

The last time I decided to declare myself the Master of the Pan Flute I was shocked to learn that Zamphir was still alive. That was awhile back so maybe I should check again, but at this point he's kind of like Abe Vigoda or Betty White, where I just want him to live forever so I don't want to know.

 

[Dr Dave]

 

[Volpone]

Golf course restaurants should serve pistachio pudding and call it "The Pudding Green."

 

[Volpone]

That second cocktail is the troublemaker. I'll have one and be like "Oh, I'm good. Don't even really want another." But I'm not quite ready for bed and don't want another cup of herbal tea so I say "heck, I'll have one more" and it says "fuck it, I know some friends. Let's invite them down."

 

[Volpone]

If the box my sparkplugs came in can be believed, "bougie" is French for "sparkplug."

 

[The Beer Hall Pooch]

I need this.

I need this very badly (wouldn't mind the Power Girl movie either).

Please, God... make this happen...

 

[Dr Dave]

 

[whisky]

You're not sending me to the cooler

 

[whisky]

A year ago today a tiny spider crawled into my smoke alarm and set it off, and the same thing happened last night, at 1.30 AM

 

[CaptainWacky]