MODMAN
Active Member
A dream! A nightmare! Call it what you wish. But attend carefully my friends, for I have foreseen the end.
.......
It begins with two wayward children of the TrekBBS - both having sat in the darkness and the light. The one they call Wacky will celebrate his 25th anniversary. On this fateful day, The Reckoning shall commence. New Trek will collapse as Paramount+ closes up shop. The last remaining embers of Trek fandom huddle in the night, preparing to mount a final online campaign to save their beleaguered franchise. The Other emerges, having laid in wait for over two decades planning his revenge. The clarion is sounded in Wacky's thread, The Other's secret admin codes are unleashed. The lock on the great Troll War is broken. Every ban is unmade. A great host amass at the breach, lead by SkinOfEvil. Red Quacker, Enterpriser, Daystrom, Tamek, RobL, Mr. Stinky Pants, MajorBarcalow and countless other permabans begin pouring thru the breach.
T'Bonz valiantly fights against the host with her moderators. Time has dulled their wits; they are old and wholly unprepared for the onslaught. They have become complacent during peacetime and fatally underestimated the patience of the enemy, never daring to think a plot of such magnitude could have festered for so long. The only moderator prepared for battle is Neroon, who dons his Minbari Warrior cosplay (as he always does when he mods, to be fair) and launches a volley of warnings. The trolls care not, as The Other has disabled all banning.
But the administration is determined. They know if they lose this fight, they will have nothing else in their lives to make them feel important. The battle rages. Skin mindfucks several green moderators with a wit and brutality beyond compregension. Moderators drop like flies and resign. T'Bonz tells them to piss off and that they were useless as fuck anyway.
Suddenly, a great green light emerges on the horizon. Christian himself enters the battle, pulling himself away from his X-Box when he realises the fate of his passive income stream is at risk. He attempts to disable The Other's secret admin codes, but to no avail. To his horror, he discovers the backdoor codes signature are as old as his - they originally belong to ... SALEEL MAJEED. But Saleel would not do such a thing, Christian muses. He frantically calls his former friend, first apologing for stealing the website, then apologizes for taking a quarter of a century to apologize before asking him to reverse his assault. He begs Saleel, citing that he can't buy all the latest X-Box games without the premium memberships. But Saleel pleads ignorance. He knows nothing of this, having long since left the board and Trek behind him. He leaves Christian cold with the following revelation: HE SOLD HIS BACKDOOR ACCESS TO AN INTERESTED PARTY DECADES AGO.
Meanwhile, Wacky looks around like the John Travolta meme just wanting to have a bit of fun. The Other messages Wacky and says "you must join the fight or die!" "Oh damn - okay" Wacky says. The Other says "henceforth, you shall be known as... Starscream". Emboldened by the flame of Trolldom flowing thru his veins again, Wacky - now reborn as Starscream - explodes like a supernova and launches himself into the foray, taking out half the staff in one shot.
All hope seems lost for the TrekBBS loyalists. Just as Skin prepares to declare victory, THE FIRST MODS RETURN - Susannah, Where'sSaavik, LizardLaugh, Jethro and Barcode slam onto the battlefield, arriving just in the nick of time having received T'Bonz's emergency SOS. Daystrom is transfixed by Barcode's clevage. Barcode cries "I am no man!" and stabs Daystrom through the face. Lizardlaugh and Skin become locked in ferocious combat. She maneuvers Skin back outside the vortex. Evenly matched, one cannot overcome the other. But LizardLaugh knew this, knowingly sacrificing herself to keep Skin occupied for all eternity in the void. Susannah grabs Starscream by the scruff of the neck: "There is good within you! This is not who you are. You are a Starfleet officer and you have a duty!" The veil of Starscream drops and Wacky - moved by Susannah's Picard-esque speech, turncoats on the trolls. Jethro gives Wacky a sly wink and says "I'm always ya pal, Jethro". Slightly confused, Wacky gives a crooked-smile and gingerly waves.
The battle is evenly matched. The fight rages. Neroon goes full acrobatic and looks like ... exactly what he is - an old man in cosplay trying to do martial arts. Mutai Sho-Rin is soaked in the blood of hundreds of trolls. The sands of the Mutai flow thru him.
Suddenly, a gargantuan shadow covers the board - LISA HAS RETURNED. She looks at troll and mod alike with searing contempt. Both sides fall silent. Christian begs her to stop, but Lisa also pleads ignorance. She is only here to fulfill her purpose. She undresses and performs a terrifying dance of seduction Uhura-style. Loyalists, mods, admins, trolls ... all violently throw up on one another. Lisa's acne-ridden face and deflated, saggy tits send everyone on the field into a state of madness.
Before Wacky has a chance to gaze upon the horror, The Other ferries him off the board to a secret board - LonAF.
"Wait - all this time? It survived?"
"Yes Wacky. I needed a safe space for us to wait out the cataclysm"
"But why - why have you done this? Everything was in the past. You destroyed it all!"
"I did it for you, of course."
The Other took Wacky's hand and led him back to TrekBBS. There were few survivors. A giant, amorphous mass resembling Pizza the Hutt was strewn across the battlefield. Wacky concluded the loyalists and trolls united and at last managed to lay down the Great Enemy that was Lisa.
"She was always going to return. I knew she could not resist returning to the board if war broke out. The alternative would have been her infiltration and eventual ascendance back to the top spot. It was already happening. Such an eventuality would have heralded a darkness without end."
Wacky understood The Other's meaning. This madness - this necessary evil - was for the greater good.
"But what of you? Will you now finally be the MODMAN of TrekBBS - or should I say, the ADMINMAN?"
"My task is complete, Wacky. Lisa is destroyed for all-time, the establishment is no more. Christian will have to get a real job to support his gaming habit. As for running TrekBBS - oh Wacky. Don't you know? Great leaders do not seek power. Power is thrust upon them."
The last remnants of TrekBBS - troll and loyalist alike - pull themselves up and survey the broken remains of the board. They look up in the distance and see Wacky - an aura of authority now radiating from him. The Other hands all command codes over to Wacky and recedes into the shadows.
"I have always been here."
And so, a new dawn emerges for TrekBBS - now known as ... Wacky Kingdom. A place for anyone to come and freely discuss their favorite TV shows, have a laugh and post dumb shit without recrimination.
Neroon, his Minbari armor singed from combat, looks at new threads forming. "You know, I know about farming" he says, as he begins to weep.
.......
It begins with two wayward children of the TrekBBS - both having sat in the darkness and the light. The one they call Wacky will celebrate his 25th anniversary. On this fateful day, The Reckoning shall commence. New Trek will collapse as Paramount+ closes up shop. The last remaining embers of Trek fandom huddle in the night, preparing to mount a final online campaign to save their beleaguered franchise. The Other emerges, having laid in wait for over two decades planning his revenge. The clarion is sounded in Wacky's thread, The Other's secret admin codes are unleashed. The lock on the great Troll War is broken. Every ban is unmade. A great host amass at the breach, lead by SkinOfEvil. Red Quacker, Enterpriser, Daystrom, Tamek, RobL, Mr. Stinky Pants, MajorBarcalow and countless other permabans begin pouring thru the breach.
T'Bonz valiantly fights against the host with her moderators. Time has dulled their wits; they are old and wholly unprepared for the onslaught. They have become complacent during peacetime and fatally underestimated the patience of the enemy, never daring to think a plot of such magnitude could have festered for so long. The only moderator prepared for battle is Neroon, who dons his Minbari Warrior cosplay (as he always does when he mods, to be fair) and launches a volley of warnings. The trolls care not, as The Other has disabled all banning.
But the administration is determined. They know if they lose this fight, they will have nothing else in their lives to make them feel important. The battle rages. Skin mindfucks several green moderators with a wit and brutality beyond compregension. Moderators drop like flies and resign. T'Bonz tells them to piss off and that they were useless as fuck anyway.
Suddenly, a great green light emerges on the horizon. Christian himself enters the battle, pulling himself away from his X-Box when he realises the fate of his passive income stream is at risk. He attempts to disable The Other's secret admin codes, but to no avail. To his horror, he discovers the backdoor codes signature are as old as his - they originally belong to ... SALEEL MAJEED. But Saleel would not do such a thing, Christian muses. He frantically calls his former friend, first apologing for stealing the website, then apologizes for taking a quarter of a century to apologize before asking him to reverse his assault. He begs Saleel, citing that he can't buy all the latest X-Box games without the premium memberships. But Saleel pleads ignorance. He knows nothing of this, having long since left the board and Trek behind him. He leaves Christian cold with the following revelation: HE SOLD HIS BACKDOOR ACCESS TO AN INTERESTED PARTY DECADES AGO.
Meanwhile, Wacky looks around like the John Travolta meme just wanting to have a bit of fun. The Other messages Wacky and says "you must join the fight or die!" "Oh damn - okay" Wacky says. The Other says "henceforth, you shall be known as... Starscream". Emboldened by the flame of Trolldom flowing thru his veins again, Wacky - now reborn as Starscream - explodes like a supernova and launches himself into the foray, taking out half the staff in one shot.
All hope seems lost for the TrekBBS loyalists. Just as Skin prepares to declare victory, THE FIRST MODS RETURN - Susannah, Where'sSaavik, LizardLaugh, Jethro and Barcode slam onto the battlefield, arriving just in the nick of time having received T'Bonz's emergency SOS. Daystrom is transfixed by Barcode's clevage. Barcode cries "I am no man!" and stabs Daystrom through the face. Lizardlaugh and Skin become locked in ferocious combat. She maneuvers Skin back outside the vortex. Evenly matched, one cannot overcome the other. But LizardLaugh knew this, knowingly sacrificing herself to keep Skin occupied for all eternity in the void. Susannah grabs Starscream by the scruff of the neck: "There is good within you! This is not who you are. You are a Starfleet officer and you have a duty!" The veil of Starscream drops and Wacky - moved by Susannah's Picard-esque speech, turncoats on the trolls. Jethro gives Wacky a sly wink and says "I'm always ya pal, Jethro". Slightly confused, Wacky gives a crooked-smile and gingerly waves.
The battle is evenly matched. The fight rages. Neroon goes full acrobatic and looks like ... exactly what he is - an old man in cosplay trying to do martial arts. Mutai Sho-Rin is soaked in the blood of hundreds of trolls. The sands of the Mutai flow thru him.
Suddenly, a gargantuan shadow covers the board - LISA HAS RETURNED. She looks at troll and mod alike with searing contempt. Both sides fall silent. Christian begs her to stop, but Lisa also pleads ignorance. She is only here to fulfill her purpose. She undresses and performs a terrifying dance of seduction Uhura-style. Loyalists, mods, admins, trolls ... all violently throw up on one another. Lisa's acne-ridden face and deflated, saggy tits send everyone on the field into a state of madness.
Before Wacky has a chance to gaze upon the horror, The Other ferries him off the board to a secret board - LonAF.
"Wait - all this time? It survived?"
"Yes Wacky. I needed a safe space for us to wait out the cataclysm"
"But why - why have you done this? Everything was in the past. You destroyed it all!"
"I did it for you, of course."
The Other took Wacky's hand and led him back to TrekBBS. There were few survivors. A giant, amorphous mass resembling Pizza the Hutt was strewn across the battlefield. Wacky concluded the loyalists and trolls united and at last managed to lay down the Great Enemy that was Lisa.
"She was always going to return. I knew she could not resist returning to the board if war broke out. The alternative would have been her infiltration and eventual ascendance back to the top spot. It was already happening. Such an eventuality would have heralded a darkness without end."
Wacky understood The Other's meaning. This madness - this necessary evil - was for the greater good.
"But what of you? Will you now finally be the MODMAN of TrekBBS - or should I say, the ADMINMAN?"
"My task is complete, Wacky. Lisa is destroyed for all-time, the establishment is no more. Christian will have to get a real job to support his gaming habit. As for running TrekBBS - oh Wacky. Don't you know? Great leaders do not seek power. Power is thrust upon them."
The last remnants of TrekBBS - troll and loyalist alike - pull themselves up and survey the broken remains of the board. They look up in the distance and see Wacky - an aura of authority now radiating from him. The Other hands all command codes over to Wacky and recedes into the shadows.
"I have always been here."
And so, a new dawn emerges for TrekBBS - now known as ... Wacky Kingdom. A place for anyone to come and freely discuss their favorite TV shows, have a laugh and post dumb shit without recrimination.
Neroon, his Minbari armor singed from combat, looks at new threads forming. "You know, I know about farming" he says, as he begins to weep.
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