Sometimes you just wanna go to the nudie bar...

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
I can't say definitively yet, but I am 95% sure strip joints suck in Louisville. And living in Portland in the early 2000s ruins you for other cities.

Went to one when I was in town to look at homes. It seemed OK but the girls didn't seem to be taking off any clothes. That was 2017. I've kind of outgrown strip joints, and having The Dog meant I couldn't get out that often, so when I did I tended not to waste time at strip joints. I did pop into a few more. They were always mostly deserted and with no one on stage. A few of the girls would be loitering around but that was about it. Didn't actually stop and have a beer. Last week I was at one where there was actually someone on stage. $5 cover, but what the hell. So here's the thing: They basically do the opening number of a show--come up in stripperwear and dance around. And that's as far as it goes. Nothing came off. The girl onstage had a sheer top on and you could totally see her pasties through it. Putting up tips gets you a smile and a "Thank you." Apparently you could get a $30 lapdance, but who knows what you get for that because I'm not blowing $30 to find out. Tried one other place. $5 cover. Dead. No one onstage. Didn't go in. Lame.

In Portland there was rarely a cover and within 3 songs the girls were totally nude. A tip at the stage gets you some pretty dirty attention. One place that shall remain nameless had a topless bartender and more than once a couple of the girls put on a full-on sex show onstage, munching the carpet right there for everyone to watch. After that it's kind of hard to get excited by paying $5 to watch fully dressed above average looking women dance somewhat suggestively while you drink overpriced beer.
 

jack

The Legendary Troll Kingdom
Never been to a strip club.
 

jack

The Legendary Troll Kingdom
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jack

The Legendary Troll Kingdom

Lanzman

No-one of consequence
The Great Alaskan Bush Company in Anchorage was pretty awesome back in the late 80s.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
They do? Time to stop wasting my dollars then and make it drizzle with my giant jar of pennies.
On an unrelated note, keep a coffee can full of pennies in your car. That way you can scoop up a handful and throw it at the cardboard sign panhandlers at stoplights. "Anything helps." Everybody wins.
 

The Question

Eternal
You ain't missing anything. I paid $60 for a private dance in the back. It was nothing special. Exactly like the lap dance at the table.

Think of going to a Hooters, except that the waitresses expect higher tips and don't even bring you food.

Yep. It's that absurd.
 
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