Make up lies about Optimus Prime

[headvoid]

This should be easy for me, as I have no idea what is or is not true anyway.

1. He likes mechanical bum sex and has to go out to secret "oil rigs" to get his fix

2. He actually keeps gloves in his glove compartment because he wishes he didn't have metal hands. He used to flick his gloves in Decepticons faces before a fight, but he got tired of people laughing and calling him names.

 

[Cassie]

3. He's addicted to jet fuel.

4. He thinks Tom Cruise is the best actor EVER.

5. He was never tempted to smash Sam's head into a bridge.

 

[Hambil]

His voice is actually a digitally altered Natalie Portman.

 

[Loktar]

6. His original catchphrase was "Autobots, roll me another joint!"

 

[Dr Dave]

7. He has the largest stash of Lt.Commander Data porn known to man & auto bot kind.

 

[Ishcabittle]

8. While in possession of the Matrix of Leadership, Optimus Prime was known to use it as a spunk bucket. His shame was discovered by Ultra Magnus on the Junk Planet when he attempted to open the Matrix and the sides were all stuck together with jizzom.

 

[Cassie]

9. He named his dong "The Jizzmatron5000".

 

[CaptainWacky]

10. In the UK comic continuity, he's the leader of the Decepticons.

 

[Seph]

Make up lies about Optimus Prime.

Optimus Prime the lead guitarist from the rolling stones, drowned last night in his pool.

 

[Hambil]

11. All of the other Primes used to laugh and call him names. They never let him play in any of their games.

 

[Loktar]

!2. He wrote the song O.P. P. (Optimus Prime's Penis).

 

[Cassie]

13. He's actually a furry.

 

[Seph]

13. He's actually a furry.

13 1/2. and not a very convincing one...

 

[Dr Dave]

14. He enjoys the show Two and a Half Men.

 

[Harkley]

15. He's attracted to Jazz. SEXUALLY.

 

[Seph]

true jazz makes him jizz, thats no lie harkley

 

[CaptainWacky]

16. In the event of a water landing he has been programmed to function as a floatation device.

 

[Seph]

an inflatable plastic bag comes out and attaches itself to his exhaust?

 

[Cassie]

17. His balls are full of antifreeze.

 

[Loktar]

18. He shoots lasers out of his nipples.