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Two terrorists were yesterday arrested in Glasgow for blowing up frogs by placing a straw up their rectum, inflating them and throwing them at passers by. The terrorists were later found with straws up their own rectums which they claimed were suicide devices.
Terrorists have been going into pubs after the smoking ban, lighting up cigarettes, muttering "praise Allah!", coughing and running away. Nobody has noticed yet.
The terrorists down here tried to use alligators instead of frogs and were subsequently raped by gators. THEY GOT THEIR VIRGINS IN HEAVEN ANYWAY IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS.
Terrorists have walked into several hairdressers in the Peckham area and asked for a good blow job before running out smirking. Tracy Analsecks said she was too upset to talk about it, but has managed to process a claim for industrial injury.
Two terrorists in South Yorkshire blew themselves up while testing suicide belts. Police are reported to have blamed poor planning on the part of the terrorists.