So, the funniest thing ever printed in WWF magazine is a two part interview they did with Ahmed Johnson October and November of 96. The basic idea of the interview is to get over Ahmed's tough upbringing, but it's just so ridiculously over the top, with one crazy story after another. Some highlights:
On why he was sent to a boys home- "during a softball game I hit the pitcher of the opposing team in the head with a bat... I crushed his skull and he was in a coma for almost a year and a half".
On his starving family- "I had to sit there and watch my little brother die. His stomach was bloated from sugar water. You could see his ribs and everything. I even cut my own wrists to try to give him blood... to feed him blood because I saw it on TV once. I even spit in his mouth".
Ahmed's father's reaction to Ahmed stealing his hot dogs- "He dragged me into my room, tied me down and poured the boiling water from the hot dogs onto my stomach. I was in the hospital for about six months. I was burnt so bad that the meat on my stomach started bubbling up. I remember him putting me in a tub of cold water because I was passing out from the pain. The meat from my stomach was peeling off. I could see it floating in the water. "
More troubles with dad- "At the time we had a toy pool table with wooden sticks, and I remember him taking the stick and hitting me in the throat with it... he crushed my Adam's apple. The blood was rushing down my throat and I couldn't stop it... it was choking me."
And more- "Then, he got an extension cord and he started beating us [Ahmed and his brothers]. He beat us bad... for almost an hour. It was to the point where there was actually blood and little chunks of our skin on the walls. It looked like a slaughterhouse.... From there, all I can remember is him taking our bunk beds and flipping flipping them on top of me so I couldn't move. All that was sticking out was my upper torso. From there he put his foot on my head and beat me until I passed out... He beat me from the top of my head all the way down my back. My back was almost gone... Then I remember him putting me in bed...Then my mom came in during the night and she rolled me over to change the sheets because the smell of blood from the blood clots got so bad."
And that's just part one of the story.
