What's new
Troll Kingdom

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Where is the Random Thread of Randomness stuff that doesn't belong in other threads thread?

I'm amazed that after all this time they've finally come up with a way for the stickers to peel off Bic lighters cleanly. And people doubt science.
 
 
 
^I can't see whatever that is.
 
 
I miss the Oregon that Was. :(
 
I kinda get how James Van Der Beek died of cancer. You're a guy that age and suddenly, instead of getting fatter and flabbier, you can eat whatever you want and the pounds just melt off. Add in, maybe not having comprehensive health insurance and it's an easy trap to walk into.

I got soft and doughy for years and wasn't able to shed the pounds. Eventually I found that the reason was booze and gave up liquor for 40 days and dropped all the weight I wanted to and more. But I drink increasingly more (but still not a bottle of bourbon a week so there's that, I guess) and have added more and more calories and fat to my diet but I just don't gain the weight back.

On top of that, I have a family history of cancer and am over 50, so I was past due for the ass-camera. Meanwhile, I was having a swallowing issue (since resolved) that made me worry I had some kind of throat cancer so I went in for a double endoscopy when I had insurance. But it was crappy insurance and this was years and years ago and I'm still making payments on the bill.

So while part of me worries that I increasingly eat and drink whatever I want but don't gain weight, another part of me is like "Shut up, don't look a gift horse in the mouth--especially when you're almost done paying off the last medical test."
 
I was for some reason remembering this spooky old Norman (as in Bates) house out in the woods in the middle of nowhere that my friends and I used to go party at when we were teens. Place was weird as fuck and had a smelly cum-stained mattress in every room, along with a bunch of letters strewn about that were postmarked in the 1930s. So we used to go out there and drink and smoke the ganja and some people actually had the temerity to get laid on one mattress or another. I wouldn't have touched one of those things with a barge pole, but whatever.

Anyway, I took my girlfriend out there at some point down the road to spook her a bit and let her see how fucking creepy that shithole was because I don't think she believed it was a real thing. And we were wandering around inside for awhile and she got a bad vibe so we were going to leave and there was this sound outside that sounded exactly like someone sharpening an ax on an electric grinding wheel. So obviously we climbed in the car and got the fuck out of there.

But I was curious and went out to investigate the next day in broad daylight and not midnight or whatever time it was the night before. And I discovered there was an oil rig thing out there by the house. You know, one of these pump things. And I figured that must have been where the sound had been coming from, but then I remembered the house had no electricity at all hooked up and I went to examine the pump and saw that the electrical lines leading to it had been severed ages ago.

Spooky. Norman. House.
 
I was going to put this in my TV thread but I guess the random thread is fine too. Fucking Saturday night television. I don't remember Saturday night television sucking before the past few years, yet here we are. "Surviving the Game" was the least terrible thing on and that's saying something. 1994 Ice T movie with Rutger Hauer, Gary Busey, and some others, where rich guys hunt a hobo (Ice T) for sport. It's not a terrible concept for a movie, but dang, it's painful to watch. And at some point in the production someone should've said "yeah, this turns out to be a bad idea" and killed it before it was released. None of it makes any sense.

As an added bonus, I will now expound on my other options: The myriad police procedural channels, the myriad Jesus channels, the myriad Western channels, a few shopping channels, Baa-Baa Black Sheep, one of the 12 Survivorman episodes they show ad nauseum, and Lawrence Fishburne in search of Bigfoot in the Bermuda Triangle. Oh, and the channel that shows Weird Earth and Deadline to Disaster screwed up and showed the same episodes it showed last week.
 
Right now, a major obstacle to me ascending into a glow-y omnipotent Star Trek energy being is that I don't know who would take care of my dog and cat. That and that I don't know how to do it. But part of the reason I don't know is because I stopped trying to figure out in case once you figure it out it happens and you can't stop it.*

Another thing is because my net worth isn't a million yet and I know if I'd ever told my Mom I wanted to be a millionaire she'd have told me I can't and should lower my standards to something more realistic. Yeah.

*This post delayed by 3 minutes because my dog decided she needed pets.
 
Two bums are watching a dog lick his balls. The first bum says to the other "boy, I wish I could do that," and the second bum says "maybe if you pet him first he'll let you."
 
I want to believe Google's 10 day weather forecast so much more than any of my local news stations. I need some days that don't start with a 9 for a bit.
 
 
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top