Skinofevil
10-01-2002, 04:02 PM
In a continuation from "Skinofevil On The Radio", Skin reproduces another of his many missives to a certain late night radio talk show host. Skinofevil wrote letters on a variety of topics ranging from politics to the paranormal. Sometimes, however, Skin would write in with personal problems or questions even if he had to make them up. In the following letter, Skin discusses one of his favorite topics, the personals. As he often did, Skin through in a touch of MajorBarcalow into his writings and some of his lines may have surfaced in some of the Major's old posts. Note that Skin introduces himself at the beginning of the letter. He did this often even though he was aware that by then the host had become VERY familiar with Skin's correspondence. It was just one more thing to bug him with. Another rule of trolling is that if something bugs people, keep it up.:
Dear R,
My name is Skinofevil and I have written to you
previously. I deeply appreciate your replies and when
asked for, your advice on various matters legal and
otherwise. R, I am thirty-two years old.
At present, I am very disturbed by the quality of
women I come across in the personal ads. When I scan
the ads on Yahoo!, I have noticed the following:
1) A number of the girls have the same exact pic.
2) A number of the girls have very sexually explicit
ads.
Paul, I believe these are prostitutes and I'm not
ready to open that door yet, sir.
I have placed my own ad and I was very disappointed
with the results. I received a note from a girl who
admitted to being a size 18 which is larger than I
prefer. I ignored her response for obvious reasons.
I received another note from a girl that sounded
promising and so I called her back. She seemed very
religious and told me about her brother who had a
problem with heroin. She really sounded like she was
nuts but I still gave her a chance since I thought she
might still turn out to be hot. Well, I agreed to
meet her, R, and she was very unnattractive. She
looked like an old lady and she was only twenty-seven.
She was a real mess! We met for lunch and at one
point I went to the men's room and I sat in one of the
stalls debating whether or not to run away home. I
even wanted to call a guy I know to come get me. I
toughed it out, Paul, because I thought that was the
right thing to do but I never called her again and I
screened my calls until she stopped calling.
I am not superficial, R. but a girl's suitability as a
breeder is very important to me. I have the next
generation of Skinofevil's to think about if you know
what I mean. Have you ever tried the Personals, R?
If so, do you have any tips? My mother and I fight
about this all the time. Please help! While I am not
religious, I do lead a very proper and moral
lifestyle. I do not drink. Marijuana is very wrong.
I look forward to your reply and I will continue to
listen.
All my best,
Skinofevil
Dear R,
My name is Skinofevil and I have written to you
previously. I deeply appreciate your replies and when
asked for, your advice on various matters legal and
otherwise. R, I am thirty-two years old.
At present, I am very disturbed by the quality of
women I come across in the personal ads. When I scan
the ads on Yahoo!, I have noticed the following:
1) A number of the girls have the same exact pic.
2) A number of the girls have very sexually explicit
ads.
Paul, I believe these are prostitutes and I'm not
ready to open that door yet, sir.
I have placed my own ad and I was very disappointed
with the results. I received a note from a girl who
admitted to being a size 18 which is larger than I
prefer. I ignored her response for obvious reasons.
I received another note from a girl that sounded
promising and so I called her back. She seemed very
religious and told me about her brother who had a
problem with heroin. She really sounded like she was
nuts but I still gave her a chance since I thought she
might still turn out to be hot. Well, I agreed to
meet her, R, and she was very unnattractive. She
looked like an old lady and she was only twenty-seven.
She was a real mess! We met for lunch and at one
point I went to the men's room and I sat in one of the
stalls debating whether or not to run away home. I
even wanted to call a guy I know to come get me. I
toughed it out, Paul, because I thought that was the
right thing to do but I never called her again and I
screened my calls until she stopped calling.
I am not superficial, R. but a girl's suitability as a
breeder is very important to me. I have the next
generation of Skinofevil's to think about if you know
what I mean. Have you ever tried the Personals, R?
If so, do you have any tips? My mother and I fight
about this all the time. Please help! While I am not
religious, I do lead a very proper and moral
lifestyle. I do not drink. Marijuana is very wrong.
I look forward to your reply and I will continue to
listen.
All my best,
Skinofevil