Joe Millionaire: Seduce and Slip Away!

[Che Guevara]

Which one of these fine ladies is Skin's favorite?

http://fox61.trb.com/entertainment/foxnetwork/stv-joemillionaire-girl-gallery,0,1640055.photogallery?index=1

[Skinofevil]

First of all, Skin is looking forward to this show even more than the Catholics are looking forward to Jesus coming back.

Skin can't wait to see the look on the face of whichever one of these shallow vicious golddiggers that manages to cut out the rest of the vultures when she finds out that she's exposed herself on national TV as the vacuous materialistic man-cancer she is all for some equally-shallow two-bit manbo who barely has two cents to buy the penecellin to knock out his weekly does of the clap.

That said, Skin has given these shrewish bitches the once over.

Right away, Skin can eliminate #21, Dayana because Skin is not out to staff a cotton plantation and Skin is very much turned off by fake names that are really just syllables smashed together. Why doesn't anyone name their kids "Sue" or "Jane" anymore.

Next Skin can cut out #16, Mary, and #3, Katie because Skin is also not looking for geishas beyond a twenty minute bang in the back room of whatever tatoo parlor they sell their goods at. That Katie looks like she's probably got a couple of different shades of the rainbow in her. That Mary is pretty hot for being a jap and she has the added advantage of hailing from Skin's native New Jersey. Of course, being from the Garden State, Skin knows that Jersey girls who have that hot look will bite your cock off and sell it on e-bay. They need to be put down like a rabid Ol' Yeller!

Skin then whittles down the remaining eighteen chicks to the following three finalists:

#5. Sarah: She's blonde, blue-eyed and has an enormous rack. She's also a sales and design rep. Now Skin doesn't know what that means but the word "design" seems to indicate something creative. She's probably just some office drone. Still, Skin wants to see them jugs.

# 12. Gretchen: When Skin saw the name Gretchen coming up, Skin knew either she was going to be a dog or very passable. This one ends up being the latter. Now she's not perfect, mind you. She looks like a younger Seven Of Nine and there's something about her huge cans that if they were released they'd probably hit her knees. Still, Skin digs her look and would throw a bang on her. Maybe even two.

#14. Zora: First off, this girl gets points for having a name that makes her sound like she's from outer space! Skin suspends everything he said about Daytona's name (or whatever the Hell it was) when it comes to girls who sound like they came from Krypton. This girl, another New Jersey native, looks like a Goddamn supermodel. A girl this hot probably makes a living out of collecting men's testicles. She has long straight hair reminiscent of Paulina Poriskova and a smile that would make Skinofevil regret throwing a brick at her face. Skin may have to fuel up the vanofevil and take a drive down to Lamberville.

The winner: Zora of Krypton!

Hey, if this chick wins and is disappointed to learn that Joe Millionaire is really Joe Deadbeat, Skin will throw a couple of bucks at her for a blow. Skin can just barely buy and sell Joe Broke.

[Sarek]

:bigass:

[Skinofevil]

Do you realize TWO out of Skin's THREE picks have made it into Joe Mill's final five chicks?

At this point that Mojo chick or that other Melissa girl look to be Joe's favorites but Zora's still in there.

[Scorponok]

Originally posted by "Skinofevil"

Do you realize TWO out of Skin's THREE picks have made it into Joe Mill's final five chicks?

At this point that Mojo chick or that other Melissa girl look to be Joe's favorites but Zora's still in there.

This reminds me of an old joke.

A guy has to choose between three women that he wants to marry. For the test, he gives each of them a grand to spend in any way they want.

The first chick gets her hair done, new clothes, the whole nine yards all to beautify herself. She says to the man, I wanted to look my best for you so you would be happy.

The second chick invests the money and the $1000 soon becomes $5000 and she says to the man, I wanted to think about our future together and plan ahead.

The third chick makes a downpayment on an apartment and says to the man, I wanted us to have a nice home in which to settle down, so we can raise a family and be together forever.

The man carefully considers the advantages and disadvantages of each woman and then finally goes for the one with the biggest tits.


Zora will win. Who can argue with the professional looking hooters?

[Skinofevil]

Here it is, Week Three, of Joe Mill and Zora and Sarah are still in it.

Zora looked like she was about to be dumped with the trash but due to some Survivor-esque editing and story-building, it was all a suspense generating ruse!

Go Zora Go Zora Go Zora!

[Skinofevil]

Here we are having just seen Week Four of Joe Millionaire and TWO of Skin's picks are still in the game. Both Sarah and Skin's personal favorite, Zora are in the final three! Obviously, Joe Mill is a breast man as this week he got rid of the last flat chick. For the first time too we were treated to Zora's ample cleavage and what a rack it is! This girl would be perfect if she weren't such a wet rag all the time.

Why the Hell is Joe keeping around that cheap tramp, Melissa whatever her name is. The broad is annoying and can't cook and refuses to clean. What the Hell can you do with her after you've had sex all over her and in all of her holes? Have Hogan the Butler throw her out with the trash.

[BrainDeadDork]

!

[Skinofevil]

Here it is the home stretch for Joe Millionaire and the two finalists are two of Skin's original three picks. Clearly, the lying Joe shares Skin's fascination for well-breasted babes as the two left in the running are both well-racked.

We have the busty blonde Sarah, who as it has been revealed in the "real world", is a bondage queen! All that refined and cultured bit she puts out on the show is a sham. She really gets off on tying up guys and whipping them. This is fine so long as the guy is allowed to get a few punches in without the broad crying or the cops showing up.

The other finalist is Zora, who is the more beautiful of the two. She puts out a cold fish vibe which can hurt her, but Joe seems like a simpleton and may mistake her social ineptness for being classy and reserved.

Let Skin go on the record with Joe going for Zora in the end. Skin will further predict that she ain't going to give a damn that he's really broke (supposedly) but they won't ride off into the sunset either.

Zora will accept being scammed gracefully and the two will put on a show as though they were going to give dating a try thereby providing the series with it's seemingly credible happy ending. In the end though, there's no way they'll last even as long as those fools ofrom Who Wants To Marry A Millioniare? Zora will return to Jersey where she will find Skin awaiting her at the airport in his vanofevil...

[Undina Arcania]

Apparently, Zora's also a psychic. Don't be surprised if she's waiting for you on her porch with a shotgun, Skin! :shock:

[Che Guevara]

And the winner is Zora!

[Phanatical]

So what happened??

[Skinofevil]

Originally posted by Phanatical
So what happened??

Joe Millionaire picked Zora over Sarah. He told them both he's no millionaire and neither one seemed to care. Zora decided to make a go of it with Joe and let him know that the millions she thought he had really turned her off. Then in the most predictable, underwhelming "surprise twist," Paul the Butler dropped a million dollar check on the two of them. They danced, left the chateu and they haven't seen each other since. A reunion will air TOMORROW night. (2-24)

The REAL shocker of the night was Sarah in a sour conversation with fellow Joe-reject, Melissa, admitted to blowing Joe. She even made the hand and mouth motions to remove all doubt as to what she was talking about. She did say she only did it "a little bit" which leaves the question as to whether or not, Joe blasted off. Not to mention, did she gulp it down like freshly-squeezed oj.

After telling Melissa this, Sarah asked if she thought doing that made her look stupid.

[Parallaxis]

What? I missed that. I didn't see any hand gestures. I thought she said she just made out with him a little.

I'm SHOCKED that Skinofevil was able to pick the two main finalist before the show even aired and was able to pick the winner too! Amazing!