My life is over

[THUNDERHAMMER]

This day began like any other, but quickly improved; my mood became strangely elevated, and a number of attractive females had conversed with me. Furthermore, knowing I would watch the LOTR Extended Edition in a mere two days and my lack of illness (having suffered recently from a stomach ailment) served to induce a blissful, sublime state in which I was delighted to abide. However, at approximately 12:30 p.m, my whole world came crashng down.

Classes were dismissed, and I walked out with a cheerful brow, smiling in contentment. I then turned around a corner, proceeded towards my locker, and suddenly became aware of the fact that the bustling hallway was suddenly empty. A darkness then passed over the school, and I simultaneously became somewhat uneasy, though I had no reason to. Something was...wrong...and some sixth sense was telling me to get out of the building as soon as possible. Unfortunately, I paid this intuition no heed.

Now I became aware of a set of footsteps following behind me, though I turned not to discover the owner. The person walking behind me, at a distance of perhaps three metres, continued with me for a few seconds, after which I heard a loud, dreadful bellowing. What was it? I grimaced with the fear of a shaken war veteran. I suddenly knew. Someone had just belched, a loud, disconcerting belch, and I slowly turned...

I was greeted not by an obese, unattractive male but rather by a girl I would have - if not in these circumstances - considered to be a person of tremendous beauty, an absolute goddess. I then diverted my attention, quickly looking left and right, searching for this mysterious burper, but could not find him. She was the only other person in the hallway. It was her that emitted that dreadful sound.

Needless to say, I dashed towards the nearest exit and awaited my grandmother, who drove me home where I now relate this sorry tale. Perhaps you will not understand, but this horrifying incident has left me scarred and disillusioned. Many thoughts have gone through my head over the last two hours. How can a thing of beauty produce something so disgusting, so reprehensible? How could I possibly think of her - or any female - as being attractive anymore? I personally had no idea that women burped, as I had always assumed that the gases were slowly released in their breath. Now, I don't know how I can keep living, how I can go on with my life. Castek as you know him has died today.

Thank you for listening.


Castek. :([/size]

[Captain Decker]

She also produces waste material.

[THUNDERHAMMER]

So it's not emitted as a fine, sweet-smelling mist :(

[Conchaga]

My poor, misguided friend. Women fart, belch, verp (that's that little burp where extra stuff comes up), vomit, drool, get runny noses, shit, snore, piss, sneeze, cough, get waxy buildup in their ears, and every 28 days they bleed from the vagina. Women get yeast infections, and have to get gynocological exams. You'll find out later that some women's private parts smell really bad. I've seen some chicks scratch their crotch, or their ass. Some girls have bad breath, also.

This, friend, is all part and parcel of humanity. It's inescapeable. You should have used that girl's burp as an opportunity to flirt with her, not run away. She may have burped, but that doesn't mean she's any less of a fox. She could even be really good in bed. But, you're willing to give all that up because she did something human? tsk tsk...

[Dark Whacker]

Castek did I tell you about the time a chick I was with, at the beach, at night and she needed to go pee so she decided to just pull her knickersd down infront of me and proceed to relieving herself. :shock:

I won't say I wasn't initially grossed out, but I quickly forgot when this fine young upstanding lady decided that it was time I was relieved of my personal white creamy build up! :twisted:

[Stastny]

Damn, this girl is a shame to the whole female kind. We all make tremendous efforts to keep the beautiful illusion that we're all flawless and then one careless girl goes on and spoils it all.

She'll have to be eliminated....

[Conchaga]

Originally posted by "stastny"

She'll have to be eliminated....


Uh... can we have our way with her before hand? I have a few fantasies I'd like fulfilled.

[three eyes open]

[color=violet] [/hadow]

[RommieSG]

You should hear these girls that I work with. Three sisters. And all of them have the esophagial talents of Joey Buttafuoco. And it's like a natural thing to them. Belching right out loud! Its weird. ;)

Rommie

[impeticos]

Burping and farting is good. Relieves the pressure.

[Fundamentalism]

=belch=
You should have seen the snot running from my nose yesterday Castek. It wouldn't have been so bad, but when I tried to 'slowly' release the buildup of gasses in my abdomen I found out that something else left my building too. What a waste of a perfectly good pair of nickers. :roll:

[THUNDERHAMMER]

[/siz] :x

[Conchaga]

Originally posted by "BloodRayne"

=belch=
You should have seen the snot running from my nose yesterday Castek. It wouldn't have been so bad, but when I tried to 'slowly' release the buildup of gasses in my abdomen I found out that something else left my building too. What a waste of a perfectly good pair of nickers. :roll:

[color=red][color]

[Calli]

:x

You sure do like that smilie, do you? What's your blood preassure, friend? Try not to explode on us, will ya? That smilie would miss you.

[Fundamentalism]

:x

Hey, it's not like I took it out and smurred it over ye'r face man. Lighten (http://www.ratemypoo.com/) up. 8)

[Calli]

Originally posted by "BloodRayne"

:x

Hey, it's not like I took it out and smurred it over ye'r face man. Lighten (http://www.ratemypoo.com/) up. 8)

[color=#00d1ff][color]

[InSaNiTy]

some girls are dirty some girls are not.
its just like guys.

There's a balance though and dirty whores should stay outside :twisted:

[Babi Doll]

Ahh, the typical, "Women-are-actually-human-like-me..." topic.

Sometimes you men puzzle me. :?:

[Conchaga]

Originally posted by "Babi Doll"

Sometimes you men puzzle me. :?:

Oh, and women are simple!?

I'll explain how every man works. You can sum it all up into one sentence:

"All men want is sex."
Everything we do directs us to the final goal of sex.

It's not a secret. Ask any guy you meet. If any man says he wants something other than sex, he's a liar. In fact, he's only lying so you might sleep with him. He's probably fantasized about you before. If not, he'll fantasize about you eventually. Well, if he's not gay that is.

Shit, I'm writing this whole post to try and impress you. Why? Because I want sex, plain and simple.

[Babi Doll]

Ha, age old topic, also.

But what you don't know is that women want sex just as much as men; we simply act as if we don't. Men are more obvious with their wantings. We can control ours OR we know how to get it in more planned out, devious ways. I blame this on the oppression of women through stereotypical topics like this and others. We are taught to be sweet, unharming, and definitely not sexually open.

[Babi Doll]

Originally posted by "Boothby"

"All men want is sex."
Everything we do directs us to the final goal of sex.

And that's the difference between the man/woman pursuit of sex.

[Robert "Monkey" Loggia]

^Wait a second. I'm not gay, I like sex, but that's not all I want or think about. In fact, most of the time, I get more pleasure out of cuddling and being intimate emotionally with a girl. I'm not gay.

[Conchaga]

Originally posted by "Monkey"

^Wait a second. I'm not gay, I like sex, but that's not all I want or think about. In fact, most of the time, I get more pleasure out of cuddling and being intimate emotionally with a girl. I'm not gay.

Ever think of the possibility that you'e bi? It took me a while to figure that one out.

[Robert "Monkey" Loggia]

^No, I'm not bi. I've damn well tried kissing men, and it didn't do diddly for me.

But...

I actually don't believe in totally straight or totally gay or totally bi. I think there's someone of either gender that is out there for anyone. I'm about the spiritual connection. Men may not have gotten my whoopow up and dancing so far, but maybe I just haven't met the right one that clicked. I don't know. I just don't like ruling anything out.

[Babi Doll]

^^^Sounds like you're in denial.

[Robert "Monkey" Loggia]

How? I wouldn't be ashamed of being gay or bi. In fact, it would make things much easier since I am probably the most popular straight guy I know amongst gays. I just have tried it and not enjoyed it. I wish I did, really.

[Conchaga]

Originally posted by "Monkey"

I actually don't believe in totally straight or totally gay or totally bi.

I think you're right. See, I go by the homo scale of 1-10; 1 = totally straight; 5 = bi; and 10 = flaming homo.

I'm a four.

What's your homo scale number?

[Robert "Monkey" Loggia]

^I really don't know. The reaction I have when I look at most men is a 1. If the guy was very clean and had good hygiene and was a pretty boy, I would go up to a 5 maybe. I really am not sure. A lot depends on my mood.

[Babi Doll]

Originally posted by "Monkey"

How? I wouldn't be ashamed of being gay or bi.

It's not a matter of being ashamed. It's a matter of what society accepts. Not ashamed doesn't equal not aware.

[three eyes open]

It took me a long time to realize I was bisexual. And it's all because society tries to force us women to feel that we're supposed to all look like fashion models. I didn't desire beautiful women, I envied them.

I came to my realization rather recently. I like "bad girls". I want to fondle them, turn them over my knee and paddle them senseless. And reward them if they're nice to me. So it's kind of a domme thing too.

But sometimes I'd like a softer, gentler lovemaking with a woman. Candlelight and lots of kissing.

There are also men I want to dom, so it's not just the bad girls. If I could get to be alone with Gordon Michael Woolvett he wouldn't be able to sit down for a week.

To sum it up, I think a lot of heterosexuality has something to do with people being self-conscious about their bodies. And the fact that there's a strong "either/or" mentality out there.

BB,
3eyes

[Conchaga]

Originally posted by "Monkey"

I really am not sure. A lot depends on my mood.

Trust me, it took me nine years to figure out that what you just said is the definition of bisexual.

Originally posted by "Babi Doll"

It's not a matter of being ashamed. It's a matter of what society accepts. Not ashamed doesn't equal not aware.

Fuck society... because if you won't, I will. ~_^

[Conchaga]

Three eyes, I've got a girl for you. How close are you to PA, US?

[three eyes open]

Pretty far, I'm afraid. :( I live in Kentucky. Thanks for the thought though.

BB,
3eyes

[CynicForever]

You think burping's bad, wait till you, uh, see a queeb.

[Robert "Monkey" Loggia]

^Isn't it called "queef"??

[CynicForever]

Hmm.
Heard it reffered to as both, and as qwaffe, pussy fart, and, oddly enough, tossed tang(though that might refer to what I was doing down there, not sure).

[Babi Doll]

Originally posted by "Boothby"

Fuck society... because if you won't, I will. ~_^

That's a wonderful attitude to have. My point is, society really doesn't accept bisexuality/homosexuality, no matter if you don't give a f about it or not. That's the bottom line.

And what the sad thing is, alot of us women are dying of AIDS because of society. Many men are pretending to be heterosexual when they're not. They're sleeping around with men, unprotected, and they're spreading the three letter death sentence.

If only society could tolerate it.

[Conchaga]

Originally posted by "Babi Doll"

And what the sad thing is, alot of us women are dying of AIDS because of society. Many men are pretending to be heterosexual when they're not. They're sleeping around with men, unprotected, and they're spreading the three letter death sentence.

I don't know about you, but I have never had unprotected sex. I'm too paranoid about HIV. As have been most of my partners.

[realsherlock]

+31 30 2539847

[Conchaga]

Here's a little something to help this discussion.

This is a video and it doesn't contain pornography. (http://www.goregasm.com/upload/25Nov2002/fart.mpg)

[RommieSG]

So, do y'all think that Castek really killed himself? :?

Rommie

[Senar]

Dude, its really not a big deal. Women have their moments too. Hell, there are sections of chick magazines full of these stories (the women write them in).

[Elrod Jericoho]

safd

[CaptainWacky]

Bump